Ask Tanya: Here's Your Realistic Guide To Love And Valentine's Day

Hi. I’m radio announcer, author, professional dancer and day drinker Tanya Hennessy.

Welcome to my advice column, and you should always take life advice from someone who is braless and has their top on backward and inside out whilst writing this. 

Is love at first sight real? My mother swears it is and I’ll know the one when I see him but I’m doubtful.
Yes, it's real. Have you had Ben and Jerry's?

My boyfriend has an issue with my laziness during sex. We wants me to “try more”. How do I get motivated to sex him up?
Okay, firstly - you sound like a legend - let’s hang out and eat Doritos from the bag. As for the motivation - I mean tell him you’re doing not only the starfish but the pancake, the deflated balloon and the lazy sloth. This is variety and he should be grateful. 

My boyfriend and I wanna experiment with another couple, where should we look?
Bunnings. 

I’m 38 and single. I’m just over looking for the right guy. What should I do?
Honestly. Marry your cat. Your cat will be more empathetic when you have your period and will actually listen when you wanna bitch about Taylor from work.
Also cats don’t get drunk, think the dirty clothes basket is a toilet and pee on your clothes.

I’m single. I was thinking about maybe doing a “GALentines day” party, is that weird?
Is it an event that celebrates gals as in “galahs” the birds or gals as in women? Cause I say – it’s weird if its women. But super normal if you are having a party that celebrates the majestic and under rated galah.

Any advice on how to make your partner buy you a Valentine's present?
To be real with you… sometimes nothing is better than what I got last year. A Fitbit. Offensive and suggestive Valentine’s gifts aren’t okay. He said it was practical. I didn’t talk to him for 3 days but I did get 30,000 steps in.

Is it wrong that I’m dating someone knowing I'll break up with them after Valentine’s Day because I want a present?
Ah you ma’am are a pioneer.

Is it sad if I buy my cat a Valentine?
Yes.

Don't miss Weekend Breakfast with Dylan, Tanya and Angus on Saturday and Sunday mornings across the Hit Network! Follow the show on Facebook and Instagram and listen on the Hit app for iOS and Android.